Brief update by David

Tammy wanted to update last night, but then Sophie woke up at 11:00pm. She kept us up until 1:30. It was terrible. Needless to say Tammy is tired, and she and Sophie are already asleep. Tammy will update soon with many good pictures as well.

Sunday was better in some ways. Sophie was a little more interactive and allowed me to hold her more- a few times even with Tammy around. We were reasonably pleased with Sunday until the terrible sleeping.

So Monday came, and we were scheduled to go to the Safari Park. The weather was good, and we wanted out of Shamian Island and the hotel. We were both apprehensive because of the 45 minute bus ride each way and because Tammy is hurting physically and carrying Sophie for 6 hours would be tough.

The ride there was as expected. Sophie cried and moaned. She hates the bus. We get there and are set to ride a train for 40 minutes to view the large animals. (Btw- this park is tremendous. It is on par with the San Diego Zoo). On this open air train ride, Sophie opens up. She starts baby talking and laughing with Tammy and then with me. She is acting silly and is engaged with us truly for the first time. We quit watching the animals to play with her.

After the train ride, I decide to try and carry Sophie. She lets me for the next hour or so. Tammy kept out of her sight and kept her distance, but that was ok. We were with all the families in our group. They know our struggles, and it gave us time to talk with them, while Tammy kept her distance. It made me happy to carry Sophie to bond with her and to help Tammy's back and knees. Tammy also needed some time without Sophie clinging on her.

Sophie was great at the park and slept on the bus ride back. We ate dinner with another couple from our group, and she was good there too.

We still have a long way to go. She still fusses alot. She still won't be content with me with Tammy around. She still doesn't play independently. We definitely today saw more of her personality and felt affection from her. Hopefully, tomorrow will bring more and more.

Also, pray that Tammy and Sophie get a good night's sleep. God has been faithful to us in the lows, and we thank Him for that and for the hope for further bonding soon.

A Glimmer of Hope

While we still have a LONG way to go, today was a much better day than yesterday. While David had already been trying his best get her to let him hold her, even by taking her for short walks with just the two of them, nothing seemed to be working. We finally decided that maybe if she had to rely on David for short periods of time, that she would come to trust him more quickly. We’re just not sure what the best thing is to do, but that was what we decided to try. So, this morning, before she woke up, I went for a short walk. He was the one she woke up to. He also gave her her first bottle this morning. She didn’t really want to take it at first, but she did! She drank the whole bottle! I called the room to check in about 30 minutes after she woke up to see how things were going. Not only did she take her bottle from him, but she was able to calm herself with just him around. Huge improvement!

We thought since it went so well this morning, that maybe David should be the one to feed her from now on, at least for a few days. Again, she took her bottle before nap from him and fell asleep on him for her nap. We are planning to let him do this again for bedtime tonight. She still prefers me if I’m anywhere in sight, but we feel that the fact that she is allowing him to do this is just a huge breakthrough.

Another great big happy for today was our dinner tonight. Our group met at the White Swan, and it went so much better than we could have hoped for. Not only did she not cry, but she was actually acting playful. She was cooing, which she hasn’t done at all since the day we met her. She was blowing bubbles with her spit. :) A little gross, but a still a beautiful sight!! And, best of all – I really need a drumroll here—She actually ATE some ICE CREAM!! And LIKED it!!

After the day we had yesterday, we really needed this. Of course, we both know that there is still so far to go, but we are just so thankful to see this little piece of her personality shine through. We are still dealing with the issue of me having to carry her everywhere. That’s just a really tough one with no easy answers. Hopefully, as she learns to trust David more and more, she will begin to let him hold her more even with me around. I’m sure it will come with time. I’m really hoping it’s soon. My back hurts. :)

Thank you all so much for all of your prayers and support. You can’t begin to imagine how much it means to us as we read all of your comments knowing you are all pulling for us and praying for us. Thank you!!

I think I LIKE this!

Could I possibly get some MORE?

Blowing Bubbles

We love you, sweet girl!

"Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step." - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Thank you, Sophie, for taking that first step with Mommy and Daddy. You're such a brave little girl! We love you!

My Sad Girl

I was in the middle of writing an update to post last night about our day yesterday (Thursday), when in the middle, it all fell apart. She was sleeping at the time, but then she woke up and would not go back to sleep. She didn’t sleep well all night, so I never got a chance to get back up to finish the update and post it. Anyway, this is what I wrote before she woke up: (about Thursday)

I must say that although today was still extremely difficult, it did end on a happy note. We had her medical exam today that all children adopted from China must get before getting issued their Visa. Needless to say, she did NOT like that at all. But who could blame her there, I suppose. Now, to tell you how distracted and just “off” David and I are with all of this, we were actually LATE to her medical appointment. Yes, the Pinnow’s late! Very late, as a matter of fact. I’m sure some of you that know us are either laughing out loud or crying for us. It was awful and terribly embarrassing. However, we did get there before too much started happening with our group so we were okay, just a little shaken.

As far as Sophie, it’s been a lot of the same for most of the day. She’s only happy if I’m holding her and walking. If I sit, she cries. She doesn’t really play with toys at all. We brought some from home and even bought some more here trying to get her interested in anything at all. There seems to have been a bit of progress made, I suppose, though. She did allow David to walk around outside with her for a little while without me being around. The biggest progress is that she has taken 2 full bottles on her own today. She still will not eat any solid food, but at least it’s something.

And, the best part of the day was this evening when we came back to the room. She actually let me sit on the couch and hold her, which is a small accomplishment in itself. She had some small baby rattles that some ladies had given her while we were out shopping earlier. So, we started “playing” with her with these rattles. She was actually enjoying it. I started playing patty cake with her, and she even smiled!! Yay!! We were VERY happy to end this day on such a positive note. I REALLY hope that each day gets a little better.

So, that was yesterday, but today (Friday) was definitely a step backwards. Actually, it was the worst day we’ve had so far. She has done nothing but cry for most of the day, even with me walking with her. We have been trying everything we know to try. We’ve tried all the suggestions plus anything else we can think of.

We are tired, discouraged, disheartened, but we are not giving up. As hard as this is physically, mentally, and emotionally on all of us, we still know we are in right place. It will just take time. Right now, besides being all of those things, I’m also disappointed that I’m not being able to get her out as much as I would like. We walk around the Island during the day because we certainly can’t stay in the room all day, but I mean out beyond the Island. I was hoping to take her places and get pictures and have some memories of her province that I could share with her one day. At this point, that’s just not possible. :( We still have 7 days here, though. I guess things could turn around at any point, and we’re still hopeful that they will. Right now, it feels like things are never going to turn around. I know they will eventually, though.

medical check

walking around the island

last night playing on the couch

the smile that gave us renewed hope last night

the reality of the large majority of most of her days right now :(

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

Quick update

Tammy had an update almost prepared last night, and then Sophie woke up.

She will update soon. It is still a real struggle.

Sophie only wants Tammy still. She clings to her constantly. She is taking in more liquids but no solids. Tammy is physically exhausted from carrying her. We are all three emotionally wiped out.

There have been a few glimmers of hope, but they are few and far between.

We know that she is grieving heavily for her major life change. We also know that acceptance of us will come.

This is David updating. Today was tough. Sophie is still not eating and spent much of the day whimpering or crying. She only wants Tammy to hold her. That makes it sound like she is attaching to Tammy. We don't feel that that is exactly true, however. She is not smiling or playing or interacting with Tammy. She is just latched on to her.

Tammy is exhausted physically, mentally, and emotionally. She hurts all over from carrying Sophie all day. The stress of Sophie being so sad and pitiful is tough. Even as I write this, Sophie is whimpering as she tries to fall asleep. Tammy has to be right beside her.

I am the third person in the room. I would gladly hold her, play with her, etc. We know that all of this is common with adoption. We appreciate the stories of people who have walked this path before us. We know that it will get better. We just desire it to be soon.

We were able to get her passport today. She cried the whole way there and back on the bus. She hates the buses. She was pretty good through a group meal tonight and let me carry her home. I did have to do a slow jog to keep her from crying.

So, we are all going to sleep soon. We pray that soon the attachment begins.

Prayers, Please

First, let me apologize for no pictures today. I will try my best not to let this happen again. :) Also, I’m really sorry for the short update last night. Yesterday was a really long day. We waited for what seemed like forever before we actually left to go to the Civil Affairs Office. This is where we were to all meet our new children. When it was finally time to meet our group, we then had about a 20 minute bus ride. To say that everyone was a bundle of nerves is quite an understatement. However, something magical happens the moment they hand you your child. Having experienced the delivery of a child both through labor and the Gotcha moment¸ I can honestly say the emotions you feel of having YOUR child placed in your arms is exactly the same. Your children are chosen for you by God Himself regardless of how He chooses to deliver them to you. David and I feel so honored and blessed to be chosen to be Sophie’s parents, just as we do of our other 5 children!

There were several people in our group, two of which were adopting older children. They were called first. Immediately following them, we heard “Pinnow family.” The room was very large and there were about 40 other families there with various agencies all getting their children. What a day of rejoicing!! So, we hear our name, walk up, and immediately recognize Sophie. They hand her to me, while David is snapping away with both the camera and the video camera. She is just taking it all in. She seems completely fine. She’s looking at us, looking around, giving no indication that anything is not right, even when her nannies come over to talk to us. It’s evident that she knows them and that they know her and love her, but she still doesn’t make any moves to get away from me or to try to get to them. All seems great. When they handed her to me she had a piece of plastic in her hand that she was tightly gripping, like something that ripped off the top of a snack bag. One of the nannies even commented that she took that from them and had been hanging on to it through the whole trip. Now remember, just the trip itself had to be extremely stressful for her. Even though she was with the people she knew and loved, she had NEVER left the orphanage. Now, she’s on a 3 hour trip and in the middle of complete chaos – nothing like her strict routine orphanage life. So anyway, she holds on to this piece of plastic ALL night last night until she falls asleep. I’ll come back to the plastic.

So, when we left the Civil Affairs office, although she wasn’t crying, it was still a little disturbing. She SHOULD be upset. After all, she was just handed over to complete strangers while she watched the only caregivers she’s ever known walk away, and oh, did she watch them. She never took her eyes off of them as they were walking away. But, once they stepped on the elevator, they were gone. And she still seemed okay.

Then, we got back to the room, and the wailing began – for about 2 hours. She finally fell asleep about 9:30 last night. She was tired, hungry (but refusing to eat), and terrified. She would jump at the slightest movements. She never did eat anything last night. It was evident from her reaction to the many things we tried with her, that she’s never even been offered solid foods, but we couldn’t even get her to drink a bottle.

Today hasn’t been a whole lot better. She must have been starving when she woke up. She did finally take a bottle at this point, but was clearly not happy about it. We offered her food all day – nothing. Finally, at about 6:00 p.m. decided it was time to force feed her. We managed to get a few bites of baby food down with some formula in a medicine dropper. We went shopping to buy the exact formula that she had at the orphanage and a cheap bottle since that’s likely what she had as well. She screamed the entire trip home. She did finally take one more bottle from this, but was still not very happy about it.

When we are out taking care of the appointments, she is unsure of everything around her. She cries a lot of the time. When we are in the room, she cries most of the time. We have tried EVERYTHING you can imagine. It’s just very evident that she’s grieving. She’s just lost EVERYTHING. Her whole world is gone. The ONLY thing she has left is that little piece of plastic. It’s heartbreaking. That little piece of plastic, garbage to anyone else, is her source of comfort. It calms her when nothing else will. But, it’s SO sad to watch her look at that piece of plastic and then start up again. I can only imagine what must be going on in that little mind of hers.

I know I’ve gone on and on, but I tell you all of this to help you get an idea of what’s going on here and with her and to ask you, beg you really, to please pray with us for Sophie’s heart. She’s devastated right now and it’s beyond anything that we know to do for her except pray. We know that God has called us to this little girl and that we are exactly where we are supposed to be. We don’t fully understand all the reasons for her suffering right now, but that’s okay. God doesn’t ask us to understand. He just asks us to be faithful. We are so thankful for the gift of Sophie. We are just ready for her to relax, eat, and hopefully start to show us who she really is. We know that this is just a stumbling block right now, but we are asking for your help. We can’t stand seeing her like this. We know there’s a happy baby in there. We have the pictures to prove it! :)

We have her!

We witness a miracle every time a child enters into life. But those who make their journey home across time & miles, growing within the hearts of those who wait to love them, are carried on the wings of destiny and placed among us by God's very own hands. ~Kristi Larson

She’s ours!! It’s been a really long day! I wish I would have had time earlier to type a post, but it’s been very busy. She didn’t shed a tear at the Civil Affairs office, during the bus ride, or during the paper work meeting. But, since we’ve been back to the hotel, she’s just really uncertain of everything. She’s really scared. We’re praying this doesn’t last long. It’s really sad to see her like this.

I will give more details tomorrow of our day today as I’m sure many of you are very curious as to how things were going here. I wish there had been more time today or that I wasn’t so tired at the moment. I’ll be back, though, I promise! Until then, I’ll leave you with pictures. :)

These are some of the orphanage workers who brought Sophie to us. It was very evident that they cared a great deal about her. :)