Friday, January 14, 2011

My Sad Girl

I was in the middle of writing an update to post last night about our day yesterday (Thursday), when in the middle, it all fell apart. She was sleeping at the time, but then she woke up and would not go back to sleep. She didn’t sleep well all night, so I never got a chance to get back up to finish the update and post it. Anyway, this is what I wrote before she woke up: (about Thursday)

I must say that although today was still extremely difficult, it did end on a happy note. We had her medical exam today that all children adopted from China must get before getting issued their Visa. Needless to say, she did NOT like that at all. But who could blame her there, I suppose. Now, to tell you how distracted and just “off” David and I are with all of this, we were actually LATE to her medical appointment. Yes, the Pinnow’s late! Very late, as a matter of fact. I’m sure some of you that know us are either laughing out loud or crying for us. It was awful and terribly embarrassing. However, we did get there before too much started happening with our group so we were okay, just a little shaken.

As far as Sophie, it’s been a lot of the same for most of the day. She’s only happy if I’m holding her and walking. If I sit, she cries. She doesn’t really play with toys at all. We brought some from home and even bought some more here trying to get her interested in anything at all. There seems to have been a bit of progress made, I suppose, though. She did allow David to walk around outside with her for a little while without me being around. The biggest progress is that she has taken 2 full bottles on her own today. She still will not eat any solid food, but at least it’s something.

And, the best part of the day was this evening when we came back to the room. She actually let me sit on the couch and hold her, which is a small accomplishment in itself. She had some small baby rattles that some ladies had given her while we were out shopping earlier. So, we started “playing” with her with these rattles. She was actually enjoying it. I started playing patty cake with her, and she even smiled!! Yay!! We were VERY happy to end this day on such a positive note. I REALLY hope that each day gets a little better.

So, that was yesterday, but today (Friday) was definitely a step backwards. Actually, it was the worst day we’ve had so far. She has done nothing but cry for most of the day, even with me walking with her. We have been trying everything we know to try. We’ve tried all the suggestions plus anything else we can think of.

We are tired, discouraged, disheartened, but we are not giving up. As hard as this is physically, mentally, and emotionally on all of us, we still know we are in right place. It will just take time. Right now, besides being all of those things, I’m also disappointed that I’m not being able to get her out as much as I would like. We walk around the Island during the day because we certainly can’t stay in the room all day, but I mean out beyond the Island. I was hoping to take her places and get pictures and have some memories of her province that I could share with her one day. At this point, that’s just not possible. :( We still have 7 days here, though. I guess things could turn around at any point, and we’re still hopeful that they will. Right now, it feels like things are never going to turn around. I know they will eventually, though.

medical check

walking around the island

the smile that gave us renewed hope last night

the reality of the large majority of most of her days right now :(

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

10 comments:

  1. I must admit at first I laughed at y'all being late but then I could hear your voice saying hurry up David. We ae going to be late and then my heart broke for you. I know you were already stressed from the crying and know that being late made you ever more stressed. I am glad to see the smile but will continuing praying for no more crying and for Sophie to understand what is going on and to not be scared. Love you.

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  2. Sending you hugs and prayers and encouragement. Saw your post on RQ. Your daughter is BEAUTIFUL!! I'm praying for strength, rest, encouragement and peace of mind for you. Your daughter must have been loved greatly to grieve so greatly.

    Blessings to you!

    Karen

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  3. Hang in there! I know it's rough and you aren't getting a lot of sleep but it will get better. Do you have other people with you in your travel group? Our daughter really missed the other babies and we had lots of play dates in our room.

    Our daughter loved watching people. She just watched us and we would hold her sitting on our laps with her back to our chest. She could watch us in the mirror.

    When I fed her the bottle I'd stroke her cheek with my hand. Our daughter only took a bottle too but we found that she really liked noodles. She could slurp those things like anything. It was just like feeding a baby bird and it also helped us work on our chopstick skills. Three years later our daughter still loves noodles.

    So much has changed for your little Sophie. That's our daughter's name too!

    Communication is hard too! I'd learned a bit of Chinese before we traveled but with what I know now, I'd probably start using sign language and English. Our daughter picked up sign language really fast and once she was able to communicate with us she was a lot happier. I started with "milk" which is just like you are milking a cow.

    Your Sophie probably understands a lot more than you think. She'll pick up stuff fast.

    We're praying for you in Thunder Bay!

    Bill & Linda

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  4. I just happened upon your post on Rumor Queen. Congrats on your precious girl! I could have written your post back in 2005. Our daughter was 20 months. Oh, my. It was so very hard. I hope she lets daddy do more. We kind of pushed that one. Daddy was silly, and she gave in a bit finally in that she would allow him to walk and carry her a bit. Really I did have to sit some and just let her cry while I held her while looking at fun books or toys myself in my other hand or through daddy to see if she would show interest.
    Pretty much, though, she cried the whole time we were in China with a few shiny moments.

    Today she is still an emotional, tell-you-how-she-feels kind of girl, and she is the smartest child I have ever known. What a joy she is to us!

    Hang in there. Take care of yourself. Let her grieve, and let yourself feel too!

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  5. Hang in there guys! We are pulling for you!!!
    She is such a beautiful girl.
    jenn
    http://welovefriedrice.blogspot.com/

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  6. Good luck to you! I so feel for you and hope things get better soon. Baby steps! I am so glad that she gave you some glimmer of better things to come before regressing again. Keep doing what you are doing and she will come around. Just wanted you to know you have so many people pulling for you guys!

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  7. I just read your thread on RQ and found your blog. I'm so sorry you're having such a rough time. My daughter wasn't so unhappy all the time but did insist I carry her everywhere. Even just that is exhausting. I will pray for you all that things will ease for you. Your daughter is absolutely adorable!

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  8. Saw your post on RQ and came here to see the BEAUTIFUL pictures of your daughter!!! Our first adoption was a lot like what you described... our daughter would not let me put her down, nor could I sit down. I had to eat and feed her while standing. I know you know it will get better... but it's so hard in the moment. One day at a time. Sleep as much as you can. Prayers for all three of you!!

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  9. praying for all three of you!!

    in HIS love and mine,
    lynn lott <><

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  10. Praying for you!! I pray by the time we see you your sweet girl is a happy smiling little one! Praying you can enjoy your last week in Guangzhou!
    Prayers
    Julie

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