My Sad Girl

I was in the middle of writing an update to post last night about our day yesterday (Thursday), when in the middle, it all fell apart. She was sleeping at the time, but then she woke up and would not go back to sleep. She didn’t sleep well all night, so I never got a chance to get back up to finish the update and post it. Anyway, this is what I wrote before she woke up: (about Thursday)

I must say that although today was still extremely difficult, it did end on a happy note. We had her medical exam today that all children adopted from China must get before getting issued their Visa. Needless to say, she did NOT like that at all. But who could blame her there, I suppose. Now, to tell you how distracted and just “off” David and I are with all of this, we were actually LATE to her medical appointment. Yes, the Pinnow’s late! Very late, as a matter of fact. I’m sure some of you that know us are either laughing out loud or crying for us. It was awful and terribly embarrassing. However, we did get there before too much started happening with our group so we were okay, just a little shaken.

As far as Sophie, it’s been a lot of the same for most of the day. She’s only happy if I’m holding her and walking. If I sit, she cries. She doesn’t really play with toys at all. We brought some from home and even bought some more here trying to get her interested in anything at all. There seems to have been a bit of progress made, I suppose, though. She did allow David to walk around outside with her for a little while without me being around. The biggest progress is that she has taken 2 full bottles on her own today. She still will not eat any solid food, but at least it’s something.

And, the best part of the day was this evening when we came back to the room. She actually let me sit on the couch and hold her, which is a small accomplishment in itself. She had some small baby rattles that some ladies had given her while we were out shopping earlier. So, we started “playing” with her with these rattles. She was actually enjoying it. I started playing patty cake with her, and she even smiled!! Yay!! We were VERY happy to end this day on such a positive note. I REALLY hope that each day gets a little better.

So, that was yesterday, but today (Friday) was definitely a step backwards. Actually, it was the worst day we’ve had so far. She has done nothing but cry for most of the day, even with me walking with her. We have been trying everything we know to try. We’ve tried all the suggestions plus anything else we can think of.

We are tired, discouraged, disheartened, but we are not giving up. As hard as this is physically, mentally, and emotionally on all of us, we still know we are in right place. It will just take time. Right now, besides being all of those things, I’m also disappointed that I’m not being able to get her out as much as I would like. We walk around the Island during the day because we certainly can’t stay in the room all day, but I mean out beyond the Island. I was hoping to take her places and get pictures and have some memories of her province that I could share with her one day. At this point, that’s just not possible. :( We still have 7 days here, though. I guess things could turn around at any point, and we’re still hopeful that they will. Right now, it feels like things are never going to turn around. I know they will eventually, though.

medical check

walking around the island

last night playing on the couch

the smile that gave us renewed hope last night

the reality of the large majority of most of her days right now :(

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11